Maternity Leave – Expectations VS Reality

Now that I’m coming to the end of my first maternity leave, it’s safe to say that some of the expectations I had for my “year off” were VERY unrealistic and dreamy!

Lots of time to watch box sets

I think I have managed one box set in the early days after giving birth, whilst breastfeeding *constantly*, but that was it!!! These days it’s Lorraine and This Morning on in the background if I’m lucky, whilst shouting “no, don’t touch that” every second minute!

I’ll be able to sleep when baby sleeps

Sleep? What’s sleep?! I was told this A LOT when the little man was born, and it is the biggest load of sh*t!! Firstly, you can’t just turn on sleep, because what’s likely to happen is that they wake up as soon as you fall asleep and then you feel a hundred times worse (sound familiar?). And secondly, unless you have a cook, cleaner, maid that lives with you, then you need to use that time to get stuff done around your house, or just have a shower!

Lots of sitting in coffee shops having chats with mummy friends

Now, this is something that I was really looking forward to, but in reality, it has been trying to wolf down a coffee & some cake before the little one throws the mother of all tantrums and needs feeding/entertaining. NOT relaxing at all!

Wandering around the shops whilst browsing at my leisure

Get in and out as quickly as I can (before another tantrum prevails). The end.

Having dinner ready for when my husband gets home from work

I thought this was something that I would have loads of time for. In reality, it was clock watching the whole afternoon whilst trying not to rip my hair out / cry (most days!), and then handing the bundle of joy over as soon as he gets home, and shutting myself in the bedroom for some silence. This leaves time for a frozen pizza to be shoved in the oven, or time to ring for a takeaway. No 1950’s housewife here!!

Having a tidy house

I’ll be at home all day so can get loads done, yes? NO. Babies make a LOT of mess, and I’m just not quick enough (or bothered enough anymore) to tidy up after him. I now do a quick tidy after he has gone to bed every night so he can’t mess it up again within seconds.

Lots of spare time

I’ll admit, I was naive. I hardly get time to have a wee in peace, let alone anything else (including all of the above)!


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